Filmer's gringa notebook...

WARNING! Another language is spoken in this play. And it’s not Irish!

Working on this play with Tanya and the cast has made me think about language, culture and isolation. Below are excerpts from the notebooks I have kept during this process. Enjoy!

“The greatest distance between people is not space but culture.” -- Jamake Highwater
Stephanie Diaz, who also hails from the Bay Area, gave me the book Drink Cultura by Jose Antonio Burciaga. The above quote is in the book. Chapter One is titled “Chief Wachuseh”. Say that out-loud. Go ahead.

I took 3 years of French at Westmont High.
When I hear another language, whether it is Polish or German, Italian or Spanish, or even American Sign Language, I wish I knew what was being said. I long for understanding, communication. But maybe I just hate being left out.
Sidenote: My senior year my boyfriend Rick criticized me for taking choir instead of French IV. Now I work in the language of theater.

I am gringa.
My father immigrated to the US from England after WWII. He never became a citizen of this country, though he has lived here ever since. He had two daughters born here. He now lives in a public housing high rise in Sacramento, CA. His neighbors are mostly all Ukranians. He complains all the time he has no one to talk to. They don’t speak English. He doesn’t speak Russian. Do svidaniya.

Poquito espanol.
I am frustrated that I cannot know everything! That I may never learn Spanish even though my sister married a Ruiz and my daughter is leaning Spanish in preschool. Do I resent them from achieving what I have not? Do I berate those that don’t speak “my language”? Whose job is it to reach out to whom?

I learned to count to 10 in Espanol on Sesame Street.
I am nervous to speak the little Spanish I do know. Do I order Mexican food in Spanish. Side order of frijoles y arroz por favor? Am I a phony? Trying too hard? Will I be made fun of? I don’t want to butcher the pronunciation.
Forget it. I’ll just say rice and beans.

“Speak only in our secret English language.”
Just learn the language?! Between making a living and raising a family, how does one have time to learn a language? It is more than just words and sentence structure, no? It is culture. One of my closest friends has lived in Berlin since 2001. He tells me communicating in German has opened up a new way of thinking for him. His next experiment was to learn Spanish by way of German. The experiment failed.

Culture Barriers
In a hipster diner in Humboldt Park. A group of six hungry construction workers walk in. They are working in the ‘hood. They speak English. They are American. Yet they look over the menu as if it is in another language. They snicker a bit about home fries, seitan meat, and organic tofu.
I give one of the men a bite of my vegetarian pastrami sandwich. He says, “That’s not bad.”
No Literal Translation
Must I be threatened? Can another language be a beautiful mysterious thing? Like poetry. Like dance. I realize art has no literal translation. I will try to let these “foreign words” wash over me and let my mind and thoughts and feelings travel where they may.

Will I understand it?
Do I understand the moon and the stars?
I only want to see myself up on stage. Why? I am with myself all day.
There is so much I have yet to comprehend. Does this paralyze me or inspire me to learn more? I long for the latter.
“But, Tanya, I don’t understand!”
“Does that make you feel isolated?” she replies.
“Well… yes. Yes. I do feel isolated,” I respond defensively.
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Silvia and Concha. They also feel isolated.”

Oh… It’s not all about me. I am beginning to understand…

A conversation with Tanya Saracho by Amanda Lopez

Amanda Lopez: What has been one of your most rewarding experiences so far as a playwright, and what has made it so?

Tanya Saracho: Every year keeps getting better and better. Technically as a writer, I've been enjoying rewrites more. That's something that's been quite rewarding because I feel like I'm more in control of the craft. More in control of the story that way and that's kind of exciting to me. And in the social aspect, I think I get addicted to having people come up to me after they see the show and say, "that's my story." "That's my sister up there. That's my mom." Or "oh, I feel that way about Americans too." "Eso es lo que yo pienso de los Mexicanos." It's so important for me to reflect our lives, our stories. To represent us in complicated and fully dimensional ways. It's imperative we see the riches in our culture, in our gender, but also the barnacles and the flaws. That's what makes us interesting and worth hearing about.

AL: Is there anything or anyone specific who inspires you to write?

TS: I love real people. Sitting in a waiting room, on a bus, at the airport, overhearing a conversation at a cafe- that's inspiring to me. What I mean is that it inspires me to write something down, it prompts an essence and oftentimes a character. I love listening how real people talk. I love hearing how my family talks. Well, mostly they argue, but it can become quite cathartic to write it down. To sift through it on paper. My family and friends are my ultimate source of inspiration: Con ellos tengo material para largo!

I do have heroes that I look up to, of course, my former teacher Maria Irene Fornes, Sandra Cisneros (whose classic "The House on Mango Street" I'm adapting for Steppenwolf), Zora Neale Hurston, Caryl Churchill and (my most beloved) Achy Obejas for their literary brilliance. I love artists like Frida Kahlo for how she navigated her art and the struggle with her health, that's something very close to my body. I love Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz for being complicated and so accomplished in such a dark time in our history. Marta Carrasco, the Spanish eminence who is a genius with her body; I think in another life, I'd have liked to have been as capable of the sublime with my body as she is in this lifetime.

I just realized my list only includes women. That was not on purpose by the way, but it's interesting to see who my influences have been. Very interesting to me.

AL: After seeing Kita y Fernanda, what do you hope that people will come away with?

TS: Oh, I don't know. Questions like this make me nervous sometimes because I don't think about an effect or even a message when I write. I just hope people love these women as much as I do. That they get a glimpse of what it's like to live on the border, both physical and imagined. I hope this sheds some light on the invisible people. I hope I've put at least four faces on the whole topic of immigration and that an audience realizes the whole thing is much more complicated than a bit of legislation. I don't know. I hope they snap their fingers when they hear "Los Garibaldi."

AL: If you could go back in time and talk to yourself 10 years ago, what advise would you give yourself?

TS: Become an accountant, Tanya!

It's funny, I talk to myself a lot and I write myself letters. So every so often I find written mantras and declarations to myself in this form or that. Not long ago, I found my high school yearbook while I went home to McAllen for the holidays and on the "Senior Hall of Fame" pages I read my answer to the prompt, "Where will you be in 10 years?" Well, I was very detailed with how I answered, I said: "I will be walking home in the snow from a rehearsal of my latest play, happy and satisfied." Reading it made me smile because it has actually panned out that way. Of course, back then I thought walking home in the snow was super romantic, having grown up in the desert; turns out it's not as romantic as I'd cracked it up to be, but the whole thing still made me smile. I mean... it made me smile that I was a little psychic. I AM happy and satisfied ten years later.

AL: And....Chivas o América???

TS: Chivas. We lived in Guadalajara for a time, so if I had to pick... escojeria a Las Chivas

Going back in time to... 1990

1990... the year of 21 Jump Street and Edward Scissorhands.

Jessica is looking through this magazine at one point during the play.

Oh... johnny depp. what a treat.

so sassy.

Scenic design for KITA Y FERNANDA

Scenic design by Ian Zywica

The separation, all under one roof but isolated, is a great way to see the play, so the three platforms work well to accomplish this.

The three drops represent the Mexican flag itself in shape, color.
Our musings on the set: Think these are not literal flags but are abstract flags, Tanya said like a watermark. I really like that. We like that the three drops represent the Mexican flag itself in shape and idea. Maybe use color as the element that draws us together and then apart? Red and white are the what unites us. Red also is female and red is blood. Blue and green are the separators. Blue separates the US and Green separates Mexico.

A Conversation with Elizabeth Berg

by Maggie Carlin

First thing I really would like to ask, after reading and seeing your play is what inspires you to write?

I really believe that writers are born, not made. Some people love horseback riding or baseball, it is what each person feels most comfortable doing, and for me that is writing. That has been true since I was a kid.

In the play, Nan as a child has these dreams and as she gets older she has felt like she has lost these dreams. I know you started writing when you were a child and found yourself discouraged and for a while became a nurse. Do you feel like in a way that was modeled after you?

Wow, I really never thought of it that way. You know, when I was a child, I was so positive that I was going be a famous writer. I used to tell my Dad that I was going to be rich and buy him a Cadillac. And you do, you just let it go. As I got older I just thought too much. I believed you had to be a man even though I knew people responded to my work.

So what brought you back to writing?

Well, I have two daughters and when they were 9 and 4 I really knew that I wanted to be able to spend more time with them. I was working as a nurse back then and I thought about what I could do to be at home and still bring in some income, which we needed. So I started writing! I started out working for magazines and did that for 10 years then I moved on to novels. It just kind of happened that way.

What made you chose to adapt your novels into plays?

I love plays! It is my favorite thing to do, to go see a play. For me, when I’m writing I feel like I’m acting. It just seemed like the most logical step for me. It’s funny because if I had to pick one of my novels to adapt it would not be The Pull of the Moon. But a friend of mine really encouraged me to do it. I guess it’s because people respond to this story.

What was the hardest thing about adapting this novel into a play?

Understanding that the vehicle is different. Half of what I wrote was lost. You need to pick the essential and emotional parts but still be able to link them together in flowing manner that is true to the piece.

How are you hoping your audience responds to this play?

Tears and laughter! I guess that’s the easy answer. Beyond that I’m hoping for some identification. It feels so good to identify with people and know you’re not the only person going through it.

Is there anyone you would like to thank?

There are so many people who have been behind me and helped me throughout this. I really want to thank the actors, and director Kevin Fox, and Ann Filmer for teaching me how to be a playwright.

encouragement from MiLkBabY

i send this message to encourage you...

encourage you that the world is not a machine...

encourage you to leave the house, be with other human beings, and share
something...

encourage you to fly out of your skin and be with a bird, a lady, and a magician @ 7:30 (before the MiLkBabY show @9:30) and see THE SCARLET IBIS
directed by Ann Filmer, music by Barry Bennett, and video by Kristin Reeves.

i encourage you to make a small statement to our friend , laurie, that even if the monetary amount raised at the MiLkBabY show seems inconsequential in the long run; that a group of hUmaNs came together to celebrate her healing...

OK
enough!
it sounds bit new agey, but i am a ROCKER at heart and can sort of get away with it!
i shouldn't have to encourage you to have an awesome time, but i am.
on top of everything else, i feel a real rebirth in the MiLkBabY beast
with Davidly's visit and the show we have planned for you on FRI AUG 1ST is
the kind of shows that MILkBabY want to keep doing in the future.
We would love to have you come out and be a part of it with us...

summing up for ED in vienna...

MiLkBabY + DavidLy (from berlin)
FRI AUG 1ST

LIVE @ 16TH STREET THEATER
6420 W 16th Street ** Berwyn
9:30pm sharp ... all ages ... $5
have a fever dream with us....

love
milkme
www.milkbaby.net

Audience responds to THE SCARLET IBIS

Hi, Ann,
Well. You were right. I have never seen anything like IBIS. And it was such an interesting experience, watching it. I started out feeling overwhelmed. As a lover of poetry, of it's (usually) necessary intimacy between page and reader, or poet and listener, I didn't know what to pay attention to. But then I settled down and let it happen and got comfortable and just really really enjoyed it. It was moving and funny and truly magical. It made me want to get the poems and read them, which I did.
I am so proud to be associated with a theater doing things that are so artful and different and risky and satisfying.
Thank you for all you to bring such richness to your community.
xoxo
E.

Ann,

Just wanted to reiterate that your staging of the poetry was brilliant -- very David Lynch -- and all three actors were superb.

Will

Hi Ann,

just wanted to say congratulations again for doing such a beautiful thing. I am so impressed.

As I was saying when we spoke after the show, I felt grateful to you for carving out a space and time in the world where the kind of communication and experience that happens through poetry and dreams got to have a little play in waking life. And I think you did succeed in allowing the witness to relate to the images, actions and words with as much room for personal experience as we have in the arenas of dreams and poetry. I think you succeeded in embodying ephemeral important things without limiting their expansiveness or possibility very much at all, which is a wonderful thing.

I also feel like you did what my favorite absurdist theater does, which is to represent dynamics that are recognizable to us, without any context or detail of situation. I felt like the bird and the woman and especially their relationship to each other in the second half was archetypal, and wordlessly familiar... and didn't need any time or location of description to be deeply understood. very yay. :)"

And I felt the same about seeing you. I thought, 'gosh that lady shines'. It was really fun to see you again, and nice to be there on that night. I liked that you had so many women in attendance who you've worked with/are going to be working with this season... that was cool. :) I'll definitely be out to see more of your work!

With love,

Janna